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A proper place

I will always remember your zeal for the silly fun, laughter and that need to give……………and take it back later.  Not a bad memory just an understood one. 225705_138182239600334_100002256751811_252538_1904769_n

The last time I saw you I can remember the softness of your arm and being able to tell you I loved you.  Sometimes dimentia has its proper place.  I am not going to cry when I think of those moments I will stop and think, cherish and find some moment that you made me laugh, like when you decked the nurse.  I wasn’t there but was told you did this.  I’m not going to be upset, maybe for the nurse, I know dimentia has it’s proper place.

I will  remember with clarity the moment you went from being incapabile and fought your way back, and how you still kept your dignity.   How you somehow kept the nurse laughing, although I know she saw through the darker  moments too.

I have dreaded this time since I was a little girl, I remember being frozen in icey hot fear of this day.   Even now I choose to look on it with some kind of humor, like how you are in a box  in my  bookcase and the irony that you really didn’t like to read.

My comfort now is in knowing you aren’t struggling with breathing, or your fledgling thoughts but  you are finally with dad and I would imagine you’re shaking your head at him or calling him by name “Buster” !  Whatever it is, you are where you are supposed to be and you and dad are laughing, finally, final, at last.

 

 

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