A proper place

I will always remember your zeal for fun, laughing, and that need to give……………and take it back later.  Not a bad memory just an understood one. 

The last time I saw you I remember the softness of your arm and being able to tell you I loved you.  Sometimes dimentia has its proper place.  I am not going to cry when I think of those moments I will stop and think, cherish and find some moment that you made me laugh.  I will remember you decking the nurse.  I wasn’t there but I was told you did this.  I’m not going to be upset, maybe for the nurse, I know dimentia has it’s proper place.

I will  remember with clairity, the moment you went from incapabilities and fought your way back and how you still kept your dignity.   How you somehow kept the nurse laughing, although I know she saw through the darker  moments too

I have dreaded this time since I was a little girl, I remained frozen in icey hot fear of this day.   Even now I choose to look on it with some kind of humor.  Right now you are in a box, in my  bookcase and you really didn’t like to read.  But you would have enjoyed the sunshine. 

My comfort is in knowing you aren’t struggling, you are with dad, shaking your head at him.  I can hear you say, “Bus, stop that, or Bus, let’s neck, or I’ve missed you”  Whatever it is, you are where you are supposed to be.  You and dad are laughing, finally, final, at last.  

 I can almost hear the music of gloria from peoria.